Home again, home again....

Okay so, I'm recovering from a visit to my parents...

Three bottles of wine, several Aleve, and a near fatality with my Dad behind the wheel of his 82 Pontiac(yes, it still runs), I've survived to tell the tale. My husband went with me and on the plane ride home he said the entire experience was like a bad top ten list from Letterman...

The top ten reasons adults should avoid visits to parents....

10) You continue to shout even after you've left-at everyone.
9) If the volume isn't at at a decibel level where they can hear it three houses away-something is wrong with the TV.
8) Everything in the fridge is low salt, low-calorie, low-fat, bland, and microwavable.
7) Dial-up internet service is considered an extravagance.
6) The daily obituaries are reviewed, dissected and debated at length.
5) The amount of reading material in the bathroom requires two baskets and a wall shelf.
4) Medication and other health related aids require an Excel database to keep track off.
3) You realize that driving in the opposite direction on one-way streets is encouraged if one is attempting to get home in time for Jeopardy.
2) You run the risk of being with your father when he gets into an argument with the mailman over the price of postage.
1) As bodily functions are discussed openly at the dinner table, you start praying for the Mother Ship to appear.